Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
