I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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