You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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