I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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