Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
