So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
