alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
