physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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