Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
being pregnant is like rehab
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
