A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
