i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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