HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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