Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
