I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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