It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
