I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
