she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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