I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
