census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
