I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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