would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
