It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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