Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
