oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
