i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
