Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
