did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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