you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
