you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize