You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
