How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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