So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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