If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
