I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
