I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
