it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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