I am full of burrito and curiosity
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
True college students do jello shots in the library
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize