we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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