Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
