Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
