My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
