Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Someone came in the potted fern
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize