did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im holly from the hills drunk
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh god it's open bar.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
