I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
