in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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