All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
