i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
