She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
