That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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