butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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