You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
