i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
