I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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