Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
