ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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