I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
