Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
