shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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