i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
