There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
