I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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