Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
